I feel all funny inside.

Is that how I’m supposed to feel after so long? Time passed so quickly that I didn’t realise it has been that long.

When I sat down to have a long-deserved rest today due to an early dismissal, I was suddenly flooded with images of the past. I thought back to the very beginning, and then juxataposed it with the situation now. It feels different somehow. Everything looks the same, but deep inside something has changed. I don’t exactly know what, but I do have some inkling of how it happened.

Maybe it doesn’t matter anymore? A new life to lead and new resolutions to make.

I want to overcome any challenges that come my way from now. I know I’m handling something totally new now, and it’s something quite difficult to me too, but I believe I can do it.

I know I keep saying this, and it’s probably wilfulness by now, but I am really disheartened this time.

Friends who only appear to be friends. I trusted them, and they only look me up if they need a favour from me. I don’t like people like this, and I never will. They make me feel like I’m such a bad friend when I declined to help them. It’s weird though, I know I’m being used by many people, but I always dive headlong into helping them anyway. This time, I tried to say no, and I got cold stares and sulky faces.

I know people like this are everywhere, and it’s pointless of me to keep saying it, but I really can’t stand it when all I want to do is be a friend. Is being a friend, a true friend, that difficult? It doesn’t entail much, surely, to be there as much as you can for someone because you know he/she will do the same to you. Unfortunately, it’s the second part that most people are struggling with. The trust is no longer there.