It’s been 5 weeks since the term started, and I’m relatively relieved that I made the right decision at the start of the year. However, the consequences of this decision meant that I’ve now more responsibilities than ever. Not sure if I should be happy about that, but at least I get a chance to voice out my feelings and opinions.
I know what I want to do in the near future, but I don’t get much support from where I want it. If I don’t get to pursue my dreams, I’ll just be unhappy with where I am now, and currently it’s just not working out for me. I’m not sure if it’s the environment – although I have some great working partners – but I guess I’m probably not cut out for it.
A recent formal “inspection” revealed to me that there are people who are much much stronger on the “stage” (where we “perform”) than I am. It’s probably nothing, but I feel like I’m not appreciated in what I thought I’m good in. Of course, I’m not perfect, nobody is, but I think I fare relatively well in that area. If it’s true that I am worthless there, then why am I still fighting my way through? It’s pointless anyway.
On another note, something has finally ended. I’m just really tired right now. The nights have been horrible for me, and the mornings have been unbearable. I hope time will really deliver what it promises to do – heal all wounds.
